Do You Have a Friend…Who has Alzheimer’s?
Terry H. Cunningham
Presbytery of West Virginia
What does it mean to be a friend of someone with Alzheimer’s disease? Are you there for the person as a friend who will speak frankly and caringly or are you the pseudo friend that realizes something should be done but you don’t do it? Alzheimer’s is a devastating disease that destroys the mind and many times leaves the person alone and frustrated not to mention the caregiver who has often given up his or her life to care for their loved one.
So many individuals and their caregivers have told me not only do their friends desert them but also their family. Think for yourself what it would be like to have many friends, family and church family while you are well but to be deserted when you become ill. This disease takes its toll on not only the individual but also the caregiver(s) because they see the day to day deterioration of the individual. The caregiver sometimes dies before the person suffering with Alzheimer’s due to the stress of providing round-the-clock care. Caregivers tend to put the person suffering from Alzheimer’s ahead of themselves. The caregiver provides good care to the individual while neglecting him/herself.
Those who are survivors are those who educate themselves about the disease by attending support group meetings like the one at First Presbyterian Church in Charleston. These support groups allow the caregiver to obtain educational information that is helpful in working with this horrible disease. Sometimes friends will come with a caregiver to the support group meeting and other times they will offer to stay with the individual so the caregiver can get to the support group meeting
The support group also provides a venue for the caregiver to vent without anyone criticizing the manner in which he/she is caring for the individual. The group assists in looking at ways in which things can be done in a positive manner for and with the person suffering with Alzheimer’s. Attendees at support groups learn about the new drugs that are in the third stage of research, about advance directives and how they can help one another prepare for the future and save families many headaches; and how to communicate successfully with a patient, etc.
The comment most often made by those who attend support groups is “if only people knew how helpful a support group can be if they come when the disease is first diagnosed”.
A true friend is one who is willing to give of him/herself even when it is a difficult situation, and you probably won’t find a more difficult situation then Alzheimer’s disease. Speaking frankly with someone is difficult, to say the least, but a true friend will take the risk of being rejected if what is being said will truly help the individual and the family.
The Charleston area has a support group at First Presbyterian Church, 16 Leon Sullivan Way, Charleston, WV 25301 that meets on the 3rd Tuesday of the month in room 310 in the Education Building. Everyone is welcome to attend the meetings. The meetings give individuals an opportunity for discussion as well as having educational sessions. You may also call the Alzheimer’s Association office for additional support groups in the area at 304-343-2717.
Another way to be supportive is to participate in the Annual Memory Walk which will take place this year at the Appalachian Power Park on Saturday, October 6, 2007. For more information you can call the Alzheimer’s Association at 1-800-491-2717 or visit the web site at www.alz.org/wv.